STEP 3
CULTIVATE THE FUTURE
Cultivate the future.
You cannot change what you don’t know. But you know. You know where you’ve been, so you know where you’re going.
If you don’t know yet, go to Step 1.
Use this knowledge to cultivate yourself, and thus, cultivate the future. Envision your future: What are your goals? What do you want for yourself in 1 year, in 5 years, … ? Who do you want to be? To yourself, and to the people whose lives are interwoven with yours? Imagine the woman you want to be, the life you want to have.
This may include differences in living and working conditions, it can be income related and it may include personal traits, inter-personal relationships or stop drinking / smoking.
How does it work? It’s placing boundaries, not in the now like in Step 2, but in the future. A road map. Imagine what your daily life looks like in the future, your routines and habits. You demarcate the road you want to take, different roads for different aspects you want to cultivate. And then, you add stopovers, lots of stopovers! Start showing up to those habits, build them up, one day at a time. Say YES to whatever benefits your future self and say NO to that what doesn't. Don’t expect too much from yourself at ones, and make sure you add rewards for every stopover. It will be fun!
I want to explain the analogy of the horse, the carriage, the driver… and the master.
The carriage is our body and what we need to get to our destination in this physical world. The horse is our heart, our emotions, that what we long for, our ‘drive’. The driver sits on the front end of the carriage holding the reins. He or she, steers the horse along the way. The driver is our mental part, our mind.
When one of these three are excessively present, not present or in the wrong condition, there’s an imbalance and the destination will not be reached.
The horse:
The horse has to be able and willing to go. It is the part of ourselves that needs to be energized and in the right emotional state to get us there where we want to go. When you feel bad, you will not see what’s in front of you and the options you can take.
Emotion can be changed by motion: your body posture, the way you move, the way you breath, … (the 1-2-3-meditation in Step 5 can help you with that) The quality of our life is connected to the quality of our emotions.
And there has to be something the horse wants so bad that is will pull the carriage. That is our ‘why’: why we want something, our intrinsic drive.
The driver:
The driver steers the horse and carriage on the right path, and makes adjustments. The horse needs to go in a steady pace, adjusted to the conditions of soil and weather. When, for example, a tree has fallen and blocked the road, the driver will safely steer the horse and carriage around the fallen tree.
The driver is our mind that controls our emotions (the horse). What we tell our self about our live makes us feel a certain way. So what’s your believe about life? Is it a party? Is it a test? Is life sacred? Is it a burden?
The story you tell yourself creates your reality. You will find whatever you’re looking for, your mind wants to confirm itself. When we tell our self that we don’t have what it takes (to young, to old, not enough time, not pretty enough, …) to accomplish something, then of course it won’t work. It will keep us from finding what we need, even when it’s right in front of us. What we expect shapes how we see the world.
So it is also important to watch our language. Some words limit us and some will free us. Our words shape the way we think, what we think shape the way we feel, how we feel creates our reality. (Step 7 helps you with the language that shapes our story)
The carriage:
The carriage needs to be in good condition. Strong wheels, connected to the soil so it doesn’t slip, benches to sit on, etc.
The carriage is what you need to get to your destination and/or what you need to pick up along the way so you can keep going and be successful in the end. So, what is it you need to learn? A new skill? What do you need to overcome? (more on the psychological insights here below in Step 4)
And maybe there is someone who already took the same road, made the same trip. Somebody who has a map, who can help you to pack your suitcases, make sure your wheels are steady, has tips for you to make sure you get to your destination.
When these three work together (carriage, horse and driver) not only will the destination be reached safely, but also, inside the carrier the master will appear. The master has gathered knowledge and is one with it. Knowledge has turned into wisdom. He/she enjoys the ride, ready to be inspired. And you probably guessed it, also the master is a part of yourself. It is you who has integrated the knowledge you gathered in life and turned it into wisdom. It is you enjoying life and being inspired by it.
It is important to balance out the three aspects of ourselves in our course through life, and we will reach our destinations as the master, enjoying life at its fullest.
The road map:
You need a road map to keep you on the right track to your destination: Get clear about what exactly you really want (where you want to go) and where exactly you really are at this moment. Don’t make it worse or better than it is! (Step 5 can help you with getting into reality)
When you demarcate the road you are going to take you add what you need to pick up along the way, the time you give yourself to accomplish that and after each one you add a stopover 😊 A tavern along the way to your destination where you can rest, eat and drink something, to dance, have a chat with others about your journey or the weather, a treat or little celebration for yourself …
Step 4 to 7 will help you with your journey, with getting to know yourself better. You can place them on your road map 😊 and don’t forget to place a stopover when you worked through it.
