4 types van energy manipulation, aka: Energy vampires
Why do we sometimes feel so tremendously tired after talking to a certain person? Or when we have been around a certain person? As if the energy has been sucked out of us!
We humans compete for energy. We do that to get a psychological boost. We think we need to get attention, love, recognition, support, approval and all other forms of energy from others.
And it all starts in our family of origin.
With the kind of interactions we had with our parents, we developed a way to direct the flow of energy our way. Our parents' behavior toward us and how we felt about it were critical to how we learned to control the flow of energy.
You can find more explanation of the method of energizing ourselves in my blog on Energy Transmission and the exercise from STEP 1 from the 8-Step Transformation.
The well-known book "The Celestine Prophecy" (author: James Redfield) lists four main types of energy manipulation. Most have a main type that they almost always repeat, namely that type (also called drama) that was successful with members of their own family.
1) The bully
Bullies force everyone's attention with loudness, physical strength, threats and unexpected outbursts. Everyone tiptoes for fear of embarrassing remarks, anger and, in extreme cases, even rage. The energy flows toward bullies because of the fear and anxious anticipation of what will (soon) happen again. Bullies always dominate the scene. They make you feel scared and anxious. Their fundamentally selfish behavior can vary: giving orders, constant talking, authoritarianism, intransigence, sarcasm or violence. Bullies are probably the most cut off from universal energy. Initially, they attract others through their aura of power.
2) The interrogator
Interrogators are physically less threatening but break a person's mind and will by questioning all their actions and motives. They are hostile critics, seeking ways to prove others wrong. The more they concern themselves with your faults and mistakes, the more intently you observe them and their actions. The more you try to prove or justify yourself, the more energy you send their way. Everything you say is likely to be used against you at some point.
You feel like you are constantly being watched. Their hyper-vigilant behavior can vary: cynicism, skepticism, bullying, perfectionism, excessive righteousness, malicious manipulation. Initially, they attract others by their cleverness, infallible logic, factual knowledge and intellect.
3) The detached
Distant people are trapped in their own inner world of unresolved conflicts, fears and doubts about themselves. They subconsciously think that others will free them if only they appear secretive or distant. They are often lonely and keep their distance for fear that others will impose their will or question their decisions. They think they have to solve everything themselves and do not ask for help. They need "a lot of space" and often avoid committing to anything.
As children, they did not often have the opportunity to satisfy their need for independence or gain recognition of their identity. They tend to gravitate toward the "poor-me" side and do not realize that their own aloofness may be the reason they do not have what they want. They often see their main problem in a lack of something (money, friends, social contacts, education,...). Their behavior ranges from lack of interest, unreachability and lack of helpfulness to condescension, rejection, contrariness and sneaky behavior.
4) The poor-me or the victim
A poor-me never feels powerful enough to take on the world and so tries to get energy his way through compassion. If this is done in a silent way, the poor-I may end up in the camp of the aloof, but as a poor-me, he makes sure that his silence does not go unnoticed. A poor-me is always pessimistic and attracts attention with worried looks, sighs, trembling, crying, staring into the distance, slowly answering questions and remembering painful dramas and crises. He likes to walk behind and prioritize others. His two favorite words are: "yes, but...".
Poor-me's seem attractive at first because of their vulnerability and need for help. But they are not really interested in solutions, because doing so would make them lose their source of energy. They may also exhibit over-service behavior that ultimately makes them feel abused, and this reinforces the poor-me method of attracting energy. In their tendency to adapt, they do not easily set boundaries and limitations, and their behaviors range from persuading, defending, excusing, explaining things repeatedly and talking too much to try to solve problems that are not their business.
They easily allow themselves to be seen as objects, for example because of their beauty or sexual favors, and then feel resentment because everyone else takes that for granted. Poor-me's maintain their victimization by attracting people who imitate them.
To anyone who has not yet read the book "The Celestine Prophecy" I highly recommend it. A movie has since been made about it as well. This book was once (in a long past 😉 ) an 'eye-opener' for me.
Understanding how the (energy) dynamics between people work gives you a stronger basis to recognize them and not, or no longer, be a victim of them.
Would you like to share your experience related to the book and/or energy dynamics with me? Be sure to contact me at info@WhenWiseWomenWhisper.com